Finding God

So much of life is given over to desperation. My sentience is the will I impose on what I call reality. The physical resists me. An unfathomable result, for isn't my perception the definition of truth? The pain I feel would seem to indicate not. Competing voices also make claims of entitlement to truth, but observation seems to show magnified pain, rather than relief. Any joy achieved is shallow and evaporates rather quickly, when in pursuit of appearances. Apparently it takes a miracle to wake up to the Director of the drama, for He is deeper than our perceptions!

There are many who have searched all around themselves, frantically looking for what was right in front of them all along. In His time, a prayer will make blind eyes see. For identity is a concept that cannot be realized in the dark. His light must come to us.

I testify that I had assumed that the knowledge of the truth would make the pain go away. In actuality, the pain became much more intense, but I could not deny Him after being witness to the miraculous. In Him, my pain becomes the validation of my identity, for it proves the enemy knows my name. Glory to the Lord!

Being of frail flesh, we get tired, and begin to resent the pain. He told me this would happen. I am too cowardly to question God, so instead, I began to hate my life, become depressed and despondent. Elijah knows. While the enemy assumes he has me sidelined, the Lord is teaching me great and mighty things!

 I learn how to be a conduit, of The Light of Glory, in the dark. I learn the temper and feel of who God IS, the vastness of His mercy and compassion, the dizzying heights of His perception and understanding, that He can receive my tormented weakness, and then use even evil forces, to
refashion me into His very own image, breathtakingly beautiful! He suffers with me as I suffer, to
redeem what was crushed, broken and untouchable, what seemed beyond repair. I am made into the representation of Him, in this world, to do the work He does so He can then use me to heal my small portion of the universe. It is when I lift Him up in the dark night of my soul, that my soul is transformed. I access the joy of heaven in the fearless, grateful worship of the King! I am incandescent and luminous with His glory! This burning JOY is indestructible!