I Lost My List

I had a list once. On it was detailed all the specifics of the glorious things I needed to get done. You see, I was the one who was going to meet and exceed expectations. I was going to silence all the voices of the shame based motivators in my little world. Each and every one of my soon to be accomplishments was carefully selected to highlight and justify my own chosen path. I wanted to be the hero. Each day I looked forward to crossing off another one of my successes.

Somehow, somewhere, the list disappeared. At first I was disconcerted, then my emotions worked themselves slowly into a rage. Obsessively, all my energies focused onto the the search for what I lost. After all, without it, who was I?

When comes along a weakness or loss which dislodges us from our complacency and our belief in our own sufficiency, therein is the glorious opportunity to learn of grace. Grace is that undeserved favor, mercy, and compassion. Grace is God's calling card, His signature method of dealing with humanity. He is the only one who can and will save us, in the end, if we let Him. "To the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:5) Salvation does not come from what we do, but from who we trust.

So what about all those wonderful things I was going to do for the world? They would not have lasted in God's kingdom! I did not have the strength to maintain them on my own! You see I really was only going to do them all for myself anyway. It is His work and His will, for the good of all, which He will do through those who trust in Him. (My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:9) I really am wonderfully blessed now, because I lost my list!

Priority Mail

I am throughtly convinced that the one thing we all have in common is a desperate need to be loved the midst of , and in spite of, our crippling dysfunction. Only God is big enough (read infinite) to not only provide the medicine for our healing (there is a balm in Gilead), but to be the answer to our otherwise insatiable hunger for meaning.

I know that when I want to give or receive love, using the written word seems to be the most appropriate method. It's more permanent and personal. There is liberty to develop a more considered reading, where the beauty of esoteric concepts can be brought to full expression, and love takes on a solid, visually verifiable form. When I cannot be physically with the one I love, I send them a letter. You can safely bet that I also diligently search my own mail for such communique!

God has sent us just such a love letter, and it is marked urgent! The Bible tells us of His passion for us. Time, by definition, is short and He understands that finding and knowing Him always should be our highest priority!