I Lost My List

I had a list once. On it was detailed all the specifics of the glorious things I needed to get done. You see, I was the one who was going to meet and exceed expectations. I was going to silence all the voices of the shame based motivators in my little world. Each and every one of my soon to be accomplishments was carefully selected to highlight and justify my own chosen path. I wanted to be the hero. Each day I looked forward to crossing off another one of my successes.

Somehow, somewhere, the list disappeared. At first I was disconcerted, then my emotions worked themselves slowly into a rage. Obsessively, all my energies focused onto the the search for what I lost. After all, without it, who was I?

When comes along a weakness or loss which dislodges us from our complacency and our belief in our own sufficiency, therein is the glorious opportunity to learn of grace. Grace is that undeserved favor, mercy, and compassion. Grace is God's calling card, His signature method of dealing with humanity. He is the only one who can and will save us, in the end, if we let Him. "To the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:5) Salvation does not come from what we do, but from who we trust.

So what about all those wonderful things I was going to do for the world? They would not have lasted in God's kingdom! I did not have the strength to maintain them on my own! You see I really was only going to do them all for myself anyway. It is His work and His will, for the good of all, which He will do through those who trust in Him. (My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:9) I really am wonderfully blessed now, because I lost my list!