A "Cardboard Testimony"

When I saw the subject this week, I realized that I didn't have a transcendent, poignant, concise message of the mighty, transforming power of God working in my life. I had nothing encouraging to offer. These brief communications require a conviction of positive results, an abundance of physical evidence to give as empirical proof of God's presence.

What I had was my grief. My health struggles have left me physically weak and emotionally numb and isolated. My past history of being treated violently, in addition to making some ugly choices of my own, has kept my conviction of, being undeserving of grace, in the forefront of my mind.

But this is not about me, is it? It's about God's (insert all-powerful, consummate, positive, attribute here!) Throughout my life struggles, my most profound joy has been to exalt and glorify Him! There is no one else who is worthy! No one else can do what He does! None can bring good out of even evil itself as He does! He is the only one who can bring perfect life out of death! This One even used murderous hate to frame and emphasize His greatest act of love!

Why is my soul rejoicing after all the protestations of despair? I will tell you how He has given (because that's all He does) what I needed, when I needed it, right where I was!

I have realized that there is a price to be paid when we speak out, from our hearts, for the Savior. Unless we "give it up" when we give to Him, it is not a worthy gift to give to Him who has everything. Also, If I am to be able to teach others with integrity and conviction, I must have wrestled with the issues already, and be brought through to truth! Else, how will they believe unless I have been where they are now?

My change of heart today is from the most profound "point of grace" yet. Jesus did His greatest work when He was in the most agony of physical pain and despair! Redemption and reconciliation was accomplished because of His suffering. When He cried out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus was as the very center of His father's will for Him! This is significant because suffering is not always a sign of God's displeasure, but instead will be used to further His great purpose!

So what is my message today of God's work in my life? The challenges are "violent rejection, alienation, depression, and despair"! God's answer? "He satisfies all my needs with Himself!"