More things my son has taught me (by being like me).  

Victimhood feels empowering because we think it gives us the right to control someone else, but what it’s really doing is denying our agency to change ourselves, and putting our focus “out there” instead of on self awareness. We become the void, empty and without strength. We give away our actual power. My son is doing what I’ve always done, in that he is cutting off the judgement of others on himself by denying them access to himself, but what is that but trying to make himself the judge and god of his universe (same as me). No, others don’t have “the right” to judge us, but God may be using them, to bring awareness to us, of how we are not aligned to His will, in how we communicate, in our responses. We cannot learn these things He wants us to know, if we deny His healing power in our lives, if we deny Him access by refusing to BELIEVE what He says (because we think we are smarter than God and want everything our way). We cannot understand what God is saying when we are defending ourselves (or defending the disfunction of another, what enabling is). We tend to think that finding fault elsewhere makes us the righteous one. That is just pride and self protection. This is all of why my comfort zone is being the “quiet one” in social situations, being the observer, instead of a participant, because then I am (hopefully) not judged by others, and my anger is not on display for them to give unwelcome feedback. 

Which brings to mind how my husband responds to my hostile reactions, trying to shame me for my angry replies to, what seems to me, to be contempt for how I do things (thinking of the blanket position on the bed, and his “see how you are?” phrasing of it). He is justifying himself, and I am explaining myself and never the twain shall meet. 

This is not the connection we so very much need. God does not respond to us this way, when we question Him or disagree, but with grace and patience. God asks us questions to bring to US self awareness and the truth of who we are. We cannot grow unless we operate from a foundation of absolute truth (in our inward thinking of who we are, our identity). Then we have the base from which we can operate with faith and confidence, when we know who we are.  As the saying goes, “How we treat others is a reflection of how we see ourselves.”

All our knowledge must be verified through His Word, by a thorough knowledge of His revelation to us. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” “I have hidden Thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee.” “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” “The words of the Lord are like silver, tried in the furnace seven times.” He speaks to is first in the Word, before He speaks to us in the rest of our lives.

Anyways, our accountability is to God, not to other people (or even our children). He is the source of our identity. When  someone has a complaint against us, we should be listening for His Voice, and looking for His Face. Choose to learn from Him in all circumstances. Walk out your calling freely with His authority, within sight and hearing of Him. “If you only do what you can, you will only be what you already are.” So work towards thinking the way HE does, as Jesus said, “If you can receive it.” Love is voluntary! (Don’t even get me started on gratitude!) 

 Love is the result of gratitude

We need the darkness to block out the distractions of our eyes, to rest from meaningless activity and mere visual details, so that we can focus inward, on what He has taught us, what He has told us. We must become even more needy before we can realize that there is only One who can fulfill our needs. We can change what our life is, from a bad dream in the night, to a peaceful rest in His caring embrace, make our life journey an apprehension of the  wonder of His passionate care of us. What a glory this change of perspective is! We untie ourselves from the hostility of the controlling forces of this world, and learn to rely on His view of us, so very freeing, because our identity is from Him!

However, an unhealthy perspective needs a scapegoat! The burden of shame is too strong and too heavy! He is the ONLY One who gives peace free of guilt.

Awaken From Sleep!

 You know about Moses. Didn’t he wear a veil over his face in the presence of the people? It was because you couldn’t bear to look on his face when he spoke the words of the Lord. Moses represents the Torah. 

You know about Elijah. Wasn’t he driven away from you when he showed you the judgment resulting from idolatry? He was full of grief when he saw he was not getting through to you, to your hearts. Elijah represents the prophets.

Moses and Elijah are the two witnesses who reveal who God is. You have a detailed description of who God is through the writing passed down to you. These two witnesses are observers of all of God’s redemption plan. You will reject them once again through your chosen representative.

But remember, only God can save you. They are only there to point to Him. So open your eyes. Open your ears. Learn to actually see and hear who God IS. David even told you. He knew. David said, “God has become my Yeshua.” 

Why is God’s name so important? Because it tells you who He IS. The non-word you call Him right now, “Hashem”, is an acronym, a tool which makes His personal Name a mystery to be discovered. Only He can open your eyes. Only He can open your ears. 

Lord, I Saw

Lord, 

I saw the report about the deaths of Your people (four IDF soldiers in Lebanon) and I feel used by someone (from the algorithm) that seems like a believer, and wondered what to do. I am also in pain from being injured, by just regular exercise and everyday activities. A challenging combination, just like all the things which seek to make me question You. You have met me this early morning,in the midst of my vulnerability and pain, and told me the pursuit of the flesh does not satisfy, that only You are enough. Then, because of the circumstances, You told me, “Come to me, all who are weary and overburdened, and I will give you rest.” Not perform, just come. (Come to me, who is your home.)

From one post about Solomon having 700 wives and still searching for satisfaction, then on to the poem about how the algorithm feeds our anger and discontent, then to another post about Jesus calling us to come to Him for rest, has come the answers to my prayers about what should I do. I wanted to know if I should seek justice from someone who is possibly a believer, and deny payment, for what I feel is my weakness being used against me, to the auction site. You are not telling me what to do, but showing me the proper attitude, from which will flow the confidence of faith, which makes the right answer, the correct action, as natural as breathing.

You would have me focus on YOU, the positive, inspirational path of life, so that I can avoid the problem of “Complaining is praying to the devil.” He wants to steal my joy and peace, and I would not yield any ground in my heart to that one.

Because YOU have satisfied me, have given me peace in the midst of my pain, I need seek no other thing. I am content to have seen Your Face, to have Your Presence with me. Even before You showed me these things, You were with me, to help me understand.

This is my Hope…..

I have been longing to share with you what it is that keeps me going, why my passion is so strong, and why I am so inspired. I want you to have this same perfect rest for your soul and light for your path. I want you to have this same profound peace. I would love to see your healing.

The Prince of peace has a Name. This One changes the whole orientation of my narrative, the reality of the story, to make it about Himself (and He is worthy of all things). That story that we hug tightly to our chest, His love gently persuades us to release to His healing. When we see what we thought was our victimization in His light, what we find, instead, is His character and faithfulness, and ultimately, His glory. To rejoice, then, becomes our only possible answer!

Give Praise

Gratitude is the strongest motivator there is, so give HIM praise and worship, in the Spirit of holiness and truth!

The Red Horse

The year of the horse is (literally) starting. There is a blood moon on Purim,  the Purim which is almost upon us in just ten to fourteen days. Purim is the battle with Amalek in the kingdom of Persia…Iran. Esther the queen of Persia, was Hadassa in Hebrew, which is the Myrtle tree. In Zachariah, the man on the red horse (with the other three horsemen) was under the Myrtle trees, the red horse which is also in Revelation. The four horseman are about to take peace from the earth.